Have you ever been so overwhelmed by a situation in life (or life itself) that you want to ask for help, but are embarrassed or ashamed? Of course, you have. It’s happened to all of us.
I want to assure you, though, that asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. It’s not a sign you don’t have your life “in order,” but that you have a life that’s rich in support.
It can be scary, though, to take that leap from knowing that you need help to actually asking for help. Here are seven ways to ask for help:
- Stop “burdensome” thinking
When asking for help, stop thinking of yourself as a burden. Asking someone for help does not take something away from them, but enriches them by gaining the satisfaction of giving. People are natural helpers and want to help others. Stop seeing yourself as a burden, but as a person who likes helping others too and just needs a little help of her own at the moment.
- Put it in writing
Sometimes asking for someone’s help face-to-face or even on the phone can be intimidating. Perhaps you’re afraid to see judgment in their eyes or nervous about what they’ll say? Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need in writing, be it a handwritten letter, email or, in some cases, a text.
- Practice asking
Sit in your most comfortable place in your home and practice asking your friend or family member for what you need. Sometimes when you hear the request out loud you realize just how simple the request is and that if the roles were reversed you’d easily say “Of course, no problem!” to the asker.
- Have details ready
When asking for help with something involving a concrete task – like a ride to the airport or help moving from a house to an apartment – be sure to have the details ready. Friends and family are often more eager to help when they know exactly what needs to be done, where and for how long.
- Ask in a positive way
When asking for help, be sure to frame the request in a positive manner. For example, instead of saying to a family-friend: “My life is so crazy! People need so much from me! Could you drive my mom to her doctor’s appointment tomorrow?” Try phrasing the request this way: “I know we’re all busy women, but I have a huge work deadline tomorrow and sadly don’t have time to drive my mom to her doctor’s appointment. I was wondering if you could help us out? It would be such a relief.” The second example is more positive and doesn’t make your friend feel like her time is less valuable than yours.
- Follow-through and be thankful
Remember your fortune is in the follow-through. Once you ask for help and get sound advice, act on it. Don’t procrastinate. I don’t doubt you’ll be thankful when asking someone for help, but be sure to follow up on their help with gratitude. Sending a warm thank you note after the act or fact will go a long way in expressing your gratitude. It will also make it easier to ask that person for help in the future.
- Think outside the box
Sometimes there are situations where asking for help from friends or family just won’t cut it. Sometimes you need to ask for help from someone outside your circle. Maybe the help should come from a neutral party or a professional expert. If that’s the case, think outside the box and consider asking for help from a faith leader, life coach or counselor.
The next time you feel like you are in desperate need for help, just remember to take these steps and you will be well on your way to having the help you need when you need it and having a full circle of people who support you.